Easy Does It

Budget Airlines have never been places associated with haute cuisine, let alone allergy friendly foodstuffs. I was told that things had changed as of late and went to investigate. Could EasyJet be catering for me?

      The answer you will be unsurprised to hear is ‘no, not really’. They are trying a tiny bit though and that has to be discussed.

      Onboard you get the usual stained, sticky menu full of overpriced fat laden alternatives to a good meal only this time when you turn to the end a section opens out to reveal a slightly better alternative!

      This alternative is called the ‘Feel Good: Scrumptious and Yummy box’. The faux rustic picture displays the  selection of goods on a pine table complete with plate, neither of which are delivered with the box much to my disappointment. The box itself contains vegetable spread, which looks like baby food but tastes a bit better. It has the bonus of being vegan, dairy free and gluten free. It comes with spelt crackers. SPELT CRACKERS? I hear you cry. Yes spelt crackers! Don’t get too excited though because they have added cheese to the dough, rendering the good idea useless for lactose intolerants everywhere!...They also offer baked Oat crisps which once again made me very happy only to be cheese flavoured, destroying the moment.  It’s like a bad joke. EasyJet man says ‘Look we can cater for you now...’ before turning on me and laughing manically ‘No we can’t, we want to watch you eat vegetable spread with only your hands as accompaniment.’

      There is a small bag of dried cranberries and raisins which are pretending to be healthy but upon close inspection are sugar coated. So close and yet so far. They are at least allergy free and therefore safe but are not winning any prizes.

      The pictured bar of Green & Blacks dark chocolate is nothing to prepare you for the miniscule bar that awaits you. It is like they have shrunk it to ensure that if you can eat chocolate you won’t be able to find the damn thing because of its proportions and then EasyJet man can laugh at your disappointment again. It is not going well until...

      I find the one saving grace of the worst £4 I ever spent... A Chocolate Orange nakd bar. I am eternally grateful and too hungry to savour even a crumb.